Last Friday night was great.  I went out with this blonde bombshell named Michelle.  We went to have dinner in Ancaster at this Italian place called Sfoozi’s, but it went bankrupt.  Not because of us!  It’s a shame, because we had a coupon.

So we grabbed Timmies and Starbucks and went to see The International at the new theatre in Stoney Creek.

Afterwards, we talked (and maybe argued a little!) politics all the way to dinner at The Keg (I love Air Miles!).  We wined (and beered?) and dined for a very long time, left so full we almost exploded.  Came home and absolutely crashed.

I love dating my wife.

Ladies and gentlemen- it took dating to woo a mate…why would you stop now that they are your spouse?!  It’s the ONE THING that you know works for sure!  Keep it up!

Here are just three reasons why dating works:

1. Time alone…focus, attention, exclusivity- believe it or not, your spouse doesn’t like sharing you sometimes.  With anyone…even their best friend, or family members.  Or with anything- especially your cell phone.

2. Communication…since you’re alone, you might as well talk.  Be intentional about discovering something new, offering encouragement, and showing support.  And bring God into the conversation.

3. It’s special. It’s different.  It’s unique.  It’s a break-out from the grind.  It’s a ‘Sabbath moment.’  It’s a rest from everything else.  So be creative.

Guys- you need to be more intentional about dating your wives.  Shave and dress up too.  Start planning surprises.  (especially if she’s a control freak).
Women- stop pointing the finger.  When was the last time you took your husband on a date, did things that he would like to do (did someone say food, sports, and sex?), and then PAID FOR THE WHOLE THING?!

So here is my challenge for you as a couple:  Go on a weekly date.

“But that’s expensive!”

SO IS DIVORCE.

And it doesn’t have to be expensive— if you use that God-given grey matter.  Get creative.
Have a great weekend lovebirds-  I can’t wait to hear the stories on Monday.  Now I gotta go plan a date…

Jay

There is nothing better than written communication.  My wife and I used to sneak notes to each other in grade eight.  We wrote love letters to each other when she was in Africa.  And we still write letters to each other today.

Every 2 months we sit down and write each other a letter.  We talk about the ups and the downs of the last 8 weeks.  We gently address the areas where we’d like to see the other person improve.  We encourage each other and praise them for the good and the great that they have achieved in the past few weeks.  We write prayers or verses or words of encouragement for each other.  We bless and lavish encouragement on each other.  Every single letter brings a smile and a laugh, and sometimes a tear.  Always joy.

It forces you to remember why you love each other.
It reminds you of what’s really important.
It leaves a record that you were, indeed, in love.  Who knows who it will bless in the future- your widowed spouse, your kids, or your grandkids.  Maybe it will even bless you again after they have passed on.

When you were dating, did you ever write a love letter?

Maybe it’s time to start again. And again.  And again.

Jay

Someone once said that “the sexual revolution was the best trick that man ever pulled on women.”

Women wanted to walk like men, talk like men, dress like men, smoke like men, drink like men, and work like men.

For the most part, it just made men respect them less- because now they had sunk to our level.  But more importantly, now they all started going to work…and expected their men to start helping around the house.

Men, of course, never signed up for that, and so, they never did anything around the house.  This led to the creation of a generation of workaholic, stressed out, wives and moms who simply can’t handle life.

It’s not their fault.  But it’s not man’s fault either.  It’s our fault.

For so long, men and women have tried so very hard to live without each other, simply because ‘the other way’ didn’t work.  Like Marcus Buckingham says, “The opposite isn’t bad isn’t good.  The opposite of bad is…not bad.”

Our greatest equality did not occur when we were completely dependent on each other.
Our greatest equality will not occur when we achieve complete independence of each other.
Our greatest equality will occur when we all adopt a spirit of partnership.

Partner with your spouse and do something great.  Raise a family.  Start a business.  Launch a ministry.  Plant a church.  Build a great marriage.

If you watch Fireproof for only one single reason, make it the clip starting at minute 75, going to 78:35.  WOW.

Basically, the husband has a porn problem.  He’s reading this book, and it talks about parasites.  Parasites are diseases that are stealing away what is good in a marriage.  They’re sucking the life out.  The line that gets him- “Destroy any addiction that has your heart.”

The lead character has to answer the question- who do you love more?  The parasite or your spouse?  Thankfully he makes the right choice and absolutely trashes his computer.  I can see at least three marriages around me falling apart because of various addictions.  It shouldn’t be that way.

When I was 18, I went on a mission trip to Honduras.  I didn’t heed the warnings and drank the water.  I got a MASSIVE parasite…going from both ends for four days straight.  Don’t drink the water!

What parasites are in your marriage?  Porn?  A toxic friendship?  Ungodly parents or in-laws?  Overwork?  Greed or stuff?  A lack of willingness to live right?  What’s more important- your parasite or your spouse?

Jay

I tore this straight off Mark Batterson’s blog:

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven will pause to say, ‘There lived a great street sweeper who did his job well’.” -Martin Luther King Jr.-

Reminds me of Ecclesiastes 9:10…whatever you find to do, do it with all your might.

I re-wrote MLK’s quote for my marriage:

If a man is called to be a husband, he should love even as Jesus loved the church, serve as Mother Theresa did the poor, and cherish as the shepherd does his sheep.

I’m going to try to live like that this weekend with my wife.