Have you seen the movie Yes Man yet?

I was reminded of it over dinner last night with Eric and Laura (soon to be) Fusilier.

Basically the premise is that Jim Carrey’s character says yes to everything- loans, skydiving, marathon photography, fistfights, and so on.  Not as funny as Liar Liar, but I walked away with a greater sense that I should be open to new experiences.

Most couples don’t say yes enough.

Most prefer to stay at home.

To read or watch sports or play video games.

Maybe that’s comfortable for you.  Sometimes, it’s nice to just stay home and relax.  But maybe your spouse needs some social interaction.  Maybe a friend needs a listening ear.  Maybe a family member is feeling lonely.  The world needs you.

Get out this weekend.

Embrace opportunity.

Seek change.

Visit some family.

Spend quality time with some friends.

Worship in nature.

Play a sport instead of watching it.

Do something spontaneous.

You never know what you’ll do, who’ll you’ll meet, or who you’ll help.

Jay.

He brought you together for more than fun. For more than making babies.  For more than vacations and retirement.

It’s foolish to think that your marriage is just about you and your spouse.

If so, how does it feel to be staring directly at a tree?  You’re missing the forest baby!

Let me explain.  Ephesians 5:25 says “husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.“  Right?  Well Jesus didn’t just die for the sake of dying!  Jesus died so that we might have life in Him.  He died so that the world of the cross would reconcile a broken world to God.

If our marriages are supposed to be pictures…MIRRORS of God’s love for the world, should we not then be ACTIVELY engaged in looking more and more like Jesus by loving those outside of our little homes and apartments?!

Do not be a dim reflection by sitting around the house for the next 40 or 50 years.

The question I’m asking myself, and the question we all need to ask as couples today is this:

What did God bring us together for?

Answer that, and you marriages goes to a way deeper God-level.

Jay

(P.S…Husbands- take the lead on this one.)

The love fund is a reminder to live a generous life.  The love fund is an easy way to make sure you’re always giving. The love fund will make you anticipate giving so much more.  The love fund helps you keep track of your giving.  The love fund will help make you a cheerful giver.  The love fund will teach you discipline and self sacrifice.

Every couple needs to start one.

Do you have one?

Our is a little envelope in our dresser drawer.

For some it’s a glass jar.

One couple has a piggy bank.

Others keep it in a plastic bag under their mattress.

We know one couple that has a single car garage full of gifts- money, toys, books, food, message series, CDs, etc.

What the point of the love fund?  It’s a ‘giving depot’.

Here’s how it works:

The love fund is the holding place for your gifts and tithes until you release them into service for the kingdom of God.  Just seeing a pile of money all week will get you SO pumped for Sunday service.  Or that midweek serve project your small group is doing.  Or that sending that teen that you’ve been praying for to camp for a week.  Or supporting that family member on their mission trip.  Or giving a turkey dinner to that family in need (someone did that for me and Michelle earlier this year…WOW).  If you actually have a PHYSICAL love fund, giving will start to mean something new.  You’ll start watching for opportunities to give.  You’ll give WAY beyond 10%.  You’ll start to see your money as God’s money, and start using it as an INVESTMENT rather than a begrudging giveaway.

I am so grateful for the 6 people who gave generously to start the Sex Rev.  Their investment is paying off in the lives of thousands of people who they haven’t even met!

How to start:

Small.

All you need is a journal and an envelope or bag.  Whenever either of you receives any sort of a gift or paycheque, immediately put AT LEAST 10% in the envelope.  Keep a running tab/float so you know how much is in it.

Then keep your eyes open for need.

Every time the Holy Spirit instructs you to give- give generously.  And then write it down in your giving journal- the date, to whom, and how much.  Keep track.  Follow up.  Make sure God’s money is advancing the kingdom.  Get excited about the stories of what your money did in the lives of others.

Then ask God to increase your love fund.  As my uncle Bobby says, “if you’re faithful with the nickels and dimes, God might just give you quarters.”  Be faithful.  Because He is.

Who knows, pretty soon you might have a garage for giving.

Jay

Hopefully she has a better landing…

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then distance makes the love grow stronger.

My wife left for Florida on Friday at 5am.  She returns tonight past midnight.  I miss her DEARLY!

I miss her smell. I miss talking to her and cuddling in bed.  I miss meals together and playing squash and singing and laughing. I even miss fighting.

Time apart is great.  And necessary.  But coming back together… amazing.  I think it’s a small glimpse, a small picture, of God’s longing and desire to be with us, no matter how far or long we’ve gone.

Like the prodigal son returning home.

Like teenage Jesus returning to Mary and Joseph.

Like Christ returning to His Father.

Like us, returning to Him.

If your marriage is full, it should never have to spill out.

NOTHING can guarantee a divorce-free marriage.  But a highly fulfilling, God-centred, others-centred, full-of-life marriage is a GREAT safeguard.

If you’re regularly having sex, who needs a mistress or another partner or a hooker?

If you’re working together to make your house a home, why would you go looking for an affair?

If you spend quality time together, then who needs that co-worker?

If you have fun together, travel together, play together, adventure together…why look for another playmate?

If you have a great community of friends, why would you try to start fresh?

If you were have great conversations with your spouse, why would you ‘just need someone to talk to?’

If you love your family and in-laws, why go after another set?

If you’re helping each other grow deeper in your relationship with Jesus, why would you want another spiritual partner?

What this might mean is that we need to start having sex more.  Helping out around the house more. Spending quality time together more. Traveling more.  Playing more.  Talking more.  Playing sports more.  Doing fun things more.  Going on adventures more. Spend more time with your family and your in-laws.  Spend more time with your friends.  Spend more time with Jesus together.

Here’s the main point- GET FILLED.  Be so fulfilled in your cord-of-three-strands marriage that you never turn away.

Do it for your marriage ya’ll.

Jay