(sorry girls, I couldn’t resist!)
Hi Lovebirds!
(not that I have any right, but) today I’d like to talk about “a woman’s place in the home.”
(here’s where you’d expect me to drop in a funny line about dishes, laundry, cooking, and babymaking…I won’t, however, because I rather enjoy cooking;)
Michelle and I talked briefly with our neighbours about this issue over dinner last night.
I think the first and fundamental flaw with even talking about this subject is, in fact, how we’ve set up the debate. What I mean is- who is to say that a woman’s place is even IN the home? Where in the Bible does it say, “women, thou shalt not leavest thine domicile.” So let’s revise it- today I’d like to talk about “a woman’s place in the home, the marriage, and in life.” There, that’s a little more holistic, isn’t it?!
1. A woman’s place in the home.
If we look at the Proverbs 31 women, it’s looks to me like this highly-entrepreneurial lady actually supported her husband work as a minister in town.
Here’s what I think: Gender roles will never change, but gender chores are always open for debate. A father should always be striving to look like Jesus and servant-lead his family in a humble way. A mother should always be striving to cherish and nurture and love on her children. Vacuuming is a bisexual activity.
2. A woman’s place in them marriage.
Sex and support right? You’re dead! Yes, a wife is the submit to her husband and support him. But I don’t think this is a blind, “oh I’ll let my man take care of everything.” A wife’s duty is to be seeking God’s will and keeping her husband accountable to do the same. Wives will truly honor their husbands when they start expecting a higher quality and standard of spiritual leadership in their own home. My wife has always told me, “baby, I’m not here to change you, I’m here to shape you!”
3. A woman’s place in life.
A woman, like every other thing that God created, should seek to become a success. A success based on this definition from John Maxwell: “to do the best she can with what she’s got from where she is.“ A woman’s place in life is to bring glory to God by becoming HER. Be becoming all that God created her to become.
So that’s my thinking when it comes to ‘a woman’s place in the home.’ I think a woman’s place in life is in the circles of influence in which God placed her to be a driving force for His kingdom of love.
Jay
What would you add? What do you totally disagree with? What’s a woman’s place?
cody Says:
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:45 pm
This is some scary stuff, Jay. I don’t know you, nor do I have the time or the energy to address all of the blatant, God-inspired misogyny displayed here. (Men can do the vacuuming or the dishes sometimes? Great. That’s hardly what the women’s movement was about.) I think you’d feel more at home in a 1920’s red state household. I would gladly drop you off if I had the technology.
“What would you add?”
Nothing. This note would be wiped clean before I added anything.
“What do you totally disagree with?”
Everything. Save for the puny concession you made that men should take part in the chores. Did this ‘really’ need to be said?
“What’s a woman’s place?”
This question itself is beyond bizarre; it is offensive and disturbing. And here lies my entire point: It is not ‘up’ to me, you, or anybody to even speculate about let alone determine the role of billions of individual women! Particularly as males, we can not do this. But even if some women readers are in complete agreement with what Jay has written, in the same way, it is not up to you to decide what the collective role of all of your sisters worldwide should be, based on your personal belief system. And this is where it gets messy, folks. What happens when these archaic beliefs start leaking into public policy or the courtroom? All one needs to do is take a trip through time and explore what the religious ‘accomplished’ whenever they held power. It sends chills down the spine.
For any female readers interested:
To have this man or any other man dictate/recite what you or any woman’s “role” should be in the world should make you feel really uncomfortable in some capacity. The identification of the root of this discomfort is your decision, of course. But in my humble, admittedly testosterone soaked opinion, it is your common sense and a deep feeling of self-worth tugging at you at moments like this. But do what you will, for it is your life; even if you’ve given it to God, you don’t have to submit to your husband’s will, be his sheath, or become a full-time baby machine. If you want to do this, that is perfectly fine, just don’t be bullied into it by self-righteous, misogynistic dinosaurs who happen to come in many attractive shapes and sizes on the surface. In any case, any man who readily uses the word “submit” while talking about his wife should be a soaring red flag. You are human beings– not dogs. And for the record, any book or any God that tells you to do the same should be of immense concern, as well. That little voice inside your head can be one of two things: Reason or Satan.
But, if it has already been impressed upon you that any ‘sacrilegious’ thoughts such as my own are Satan’s doing, well, they’ve already got you, don’t they?
June 24th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Demosthenes,
Of course the pic and the opening were meant to be a little tongue in cheek. I’m assuming you meant to do the same by choosing a screen name of a man who had sex with boys and went so far as to sexually involve his wife with boys in order to have a child. I get it- an excellent standard of what a man should be, right?
A God-inspired disdain for women, really? I don’t appreciate such over-exaggerations. My wife also disagrees!
You and I agree on your main point- and, like I said in the very first line, I have no right to make the final call. Just throwing out suggestions and ideas
But apparently the opposite is allowed to be completely true…what’s up with that? Blog are opinions, aren’t they?!
I honestly DON’T believe that you disagree with everything I said. Living consciously wouldn’t allow it. Do you honestly believe that a woman…
-shouldn’t love her children?
-shouldn’t encourage her husband and try to make him a better man?
-shouldn’t try to become everything she could be?
A person who disagrees with such principles should, in my opinion, be red flagged.
When I accepted Christ, I CHOSE to put some boundaries in place in order to live a limitless life. (things such as staying faithful to one wife, loving others more than myself, etc.) A working marriage also requires certain trusts, and in them, you find yourself living at a whole new level.
As the Bible says, “it was for freedom that Christ set us free.”
Sincerely,
The Dinosaur
June 24th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
jay, i agree with everything you said.
and at the other poster…it isnt him that decided the way things are…it’s God. men and women are different…He created them differently so they could fulfill their roles the best they can…if he wanted men and women to be the same He wouldnt have created two genders
i am a woman and i COMPLETELY agree with submitting to my future husband and i completely agree with the roles that are assigned to us as women by God. that doesnt mean they are any less significant than men’s roles…just different..and equally important.
when things are as God intended them to be…life is beautiful.
June 25th, 2009 at 6:36 am
Hey Andrea, I’m glad you’ve CHOSEN this path. Agreed- different roles, both very important. If anything, a husband and wife should make each other BETTER!