It is the wedding day and all the guests eyes are on the bride and the groom standing on the altar, side by side exchanging vows. Mike and I see this as a symbol of unity and faithfulness.

Paul wrote letters to the Philippians to thank them and strengthen believers by showing them that true joy comes from Jesus Christ alone. He was an excellent communicator with a beautiful servants heart. Mike and I admire Paul’s purpose in life as it was to speak out boldly for Christ and to daily become more like him. In a marriage you need to be excellent communicators and have servant hearts just like Paul did to the church. Mike and I have found in our marriage that if you are not standing side by side, then you are asking for selfishness and pride to creep in.

“Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance. Stand united, singular in vision, contending for people’s trust in the Message, the good news, not flinching or dodging in the slightest before the opposition. Your courage and unity will show them what they’re up against…” - Philippians 1:27-28 (The Message)

Standing together in your marriage unified as one will empower you both to defend against sin.

Are you communicating well with your spouse? Are you serving your spouse? Are you standing side by side in your marriage?

-KT & MT

My husband, C.J.,  is working on his master’s degree in Human Fitness and Performance which is a fancy term for physical fitness.  All that he has left to complete is his project for which he is writing a strength and conditioning manual for firefighters.  He works very hard on his project all the while holding down two jobs and being a wonderful husband and daddy.  He is superman in my eyes.

Three weeks ago for the first time ever in my life I mowed the yard, did all the edging and weed eating, and even trimmed the bushes.  I found I really enjoyed doing the yard work, and I have done it once a week since.

The first week our neighbor saw me doing the yard and told me, “C.J. doesn’t know how good he has got it.”   The second week he complimented my husband for a job well done.  C.J. told our neighbor it had not been him that did the yard, but rather me.  Our neighbor told my husband, “I know you are working on your firefighter manual, but you would make a lot more money if you wrote a manual on how to train your wife.” 

C.J. and I both kind of giggled at his comment, but his wife who was standing right there did not look amused.  If I were in her shoes I don’t think I would have been amused either.

This week as I did the yard I was thinking about our neighbor’s comment.  While I must admit it I did think of his comment as a compliment, I didn’t see what the big deal was about me doing the yard.  When I consider all that C.J. does for our family, taking one extra thing off of him doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.  Besides I was only taking care of our ”field” much like the woman in Proverbs 31.   When I thought about the woman of Proverbs 31 I realized that the manual on how to train your wife has already been written.  It is called the Bible.

The Bible is the manual for all areas of life and the most important book to reference in marriage.  It gives instruction to both man and wife  on how to fulfill their role and love their spouse. 

Are you referencing your manual?  Have you looked to God for ways to show your spouse love?  What have you come up with?  Do you live your life serving your spouse rather than seeking how they can serve you?

Sarah Brown

One of the gifts my husband John and I were given for our wedding was a small book about marriage. At first it ended up being more of a “coffee table book”, sitting on the table in our living room without really be opened or read. One day I finally pick it up and read it through from beginning to end. This book is called “I Promise You Forever” written by Dr. Gary Smalley. He goes through 30 promises to make in your marriage that fall under 5 commitments.
 
The first commitment: I promise to conform my beliefs to God’s truth
 
Honor- A simple word, seems like an easy thing to do. But if we are constantly looking at our spouse’s shortcomings, are we truly honoring them? We need to remember we are all made in God’s image. God sees both you and your spouse as precious and valuable because He sees the worth he has built within each of us. Honor is not earned – it is a gift.
 
Do you remember how you felt when you first met your spouse? Do you still feel the same now that you are married? How did Adam feel when God brought him his new companion Eve? Remember that you have received a treasure of unfathomable worth and always promise to remember your first love!
 
Promise your spouse that you remember that they are God’s gift to you. Look at the good and honorable in your spouse and find the glory God has instilled in each of you.
 
Choose to honor your spouse outside of your emotional climate. If you do not see your spouse as a priceless treasure, you will tend to focus on negative actions. As the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:8, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things”. Think of the good qualities in your spouse and honor will flow.
 
Finally, promise to install an emotional security system for your marriage. Create an emotional security in your marriage where you can grow together. Make it a place where you can truly open up to one another at an intimate level without fear of being blamed, criticized, judged or condemned. Make your marriage feel like the safest place on earth.
 
What can you do today to show honor to your spouse?

~ Carolyn