Looking back over this past year of marriage, my husband and I have had our share of struggles and challenges. It hasn’t been an easy year for us. Things did not work out according to the plan we had made for us.

It took me a few months of going through my own struggles that I realized that I need to simply give all my struggles, doubts, and disappointments to God. My own strength did not help me through the challenges I was facing. One night while doing my devotions I came across this verse: You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in the Lord. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal (Isaiah 26:3 &4). I wanted that peace, I was searching everywhere for it.

My husband recently lost his job - another struggle we are facing together. Although we both acknowledged when this first happened that we need to trust that God is leading us somewhere, it was hard at times (and sometimes still is) for us to believe in what we were saying.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 spoke to John and I – We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not it despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

Marriage is not always sunny skies and perfect weather. God tests our faith and challenges us to a higher place. He is with us and for us, not against us. God does not promise us perfect weather in marriage, but He does promise to walk beside us even in difficult times.

God is faithful, through all of life journeys. God is for us.

Are you filled today with God’s peace through life storms?

~Carolyn

This past weekend I heard of another young Christian couple separating after only a few short years of marriage. It breaks my heart to hear this. Married for almost two years myself, I wonder what is going wrong in these marriages. I wonder if my husband and I will be tempted by these situations that are causing marriages to fail. What does make a marriage successful?

Knowledge. Love in a marriage does not guarantee success. It is important for happiness within a marriage, but in the end you need knowledge to succeed. According to Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline”. Although it is important to go to church as a couple and worship together, that does not build success. Success comes from the knowledge we gain from the Bible, learning the biblical principles, the design parameters God Himself established.

A successful marriage hinges on knowledge- knowing and understanding God’s principles. It depends on more than being saved and it takes more than just being in love. God designed marriage for success and with His leadership and counsel as a couple you can make it successful.

Marriage is honorable. God instituted marriage and it is subject to the conditions God has revealed to us in His word. It is of divine origin and God blesses it. What are you doing as a couple today to learn how to make your marriage successful?

- Carolyn

How many times have we heard couples say, “She wears the pants in the relationship” or “he’s the boss, ask him?”. I think we have all heard this many times or maybe even fall guilty of admitting to saying these as well within our own marriages. But do we ever stop to consider and say, “Christ is our boss in our marriage?”.

The second promise in Dr. Gary Smalley’s book “I Promise You Forever” is based on striving to conform to God’s image in your marriage and to follow all His commands, especially to love and care for your spouse all the days of your life - I promise to be filled by God.

In our wedding vows, we promise to be faithful to our spouse. But by being faithful to our spouse, we need to first be faithful to God. We need to commit to His will, His rules, and His design for relationship behavior. By promising to submit to God’s authority, we assure our spouse that we will not be swayed by our own thoughts or wants. Putting God at the center of your marriage, making Him the foundation, provides your marriage with the most solid security possible.

We often hear the line “You complete me” or “you are the only one who can fill my needs”. We look for that one person who we can spend the rest of our life with to fill our needs and wants. We look to our spouse as our ‘power charge’ to keep us feeling satisfied and complete. Although our spouses can provide us with tremendous amount of support and encouragement, we need to seek God for our strength and happiness. Promise your spouse to be filled with God and to develop a personal connection with Him through having a faith strong in Christ. God made you for a relationship with Himself.

Make it your goal this week or even this month to be filled by God. Consciously work with your spouse to achieve oneness with God and each other. Be filled by God through prayer, attending church together, eating meals together, reading the Bible together. What else can you do to be filled by God in your marriage?

One of the gifts my husband John and I were given for our wedding was a small book about marriage. At first it ended up being more of a “coffee table book”, sitting on the table in our living room without really be opened or read. One day I finally pick it up and read it through from beginning to end. This book is called “I Promise You Forever” written by Dr. Gary Smalley. He goes through 30 promises to make in your marriage that fall under 5 commitments.
 
The first commitment: I promise to conform my beliefs to God’s truth
 
Honor- A simple word, seems like an easy thing to do. But if we are constantly looking at our spouse’s shortcomings, are we truly honoring them? We need to remember we are all made in God’s image. God sees both you and your spouse as precious and valuable because He sees the worth he has built within each of us. Honor is not earned – it is a gift.
 
Do you remember how you felt when you first met your spouse? Do you still feel the same now that you are married? How did Adam feel when God brought him his new companion Eve? Remember that you have received a treasure of unfathomable worth and always promise to remember your first love!
 
Promise your spouse that you remember that they are God’s gift to you. Look at the good and honorable in your spouse and find the glory God has instilled in each of you.
 
Choose to honor your spouse outside of your emotional climate. If you do not see your spouse as a priceless treasure, you will tend to focus on negative actions. As the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:8, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things”. Think of the good qualities in your spouse and honor will flow.
 
Finally, promise to install an emotional security system for your marriage. Create an emotional security in your marriage where you can grow together. Make it a place where you can truly open up to one another at an intimate level without fear of being blamed, criticized, judged or condemned. Make your marriage feel like the safest place on earth.
 
What can you do today to show honor to your spouse?

~ Carolyn