“Stay with the prostitute.”

That has got to be the WORST command that God ever gave to a man.

The man was Hosea, a prophet of the Lord.  God tells him to marry a lady of the night, a promiscuous woman named Gomer.  And God even tells Hosea- “dude- she ain’t gonna stop cheating neither.  But stay with her.”

So, Hosea obeys, and marries Gomer.  She very quickly goes back to her old lifestyle.  Hosea brings her back again and again.  Eventually, he outright BUYS her back.

WHY THE HECK WOULD ANY MAN GO THROUGH SUCH A HEARTBREAKING ORDEAL?!!!

Two reasons:

Hosea and Gomer’s relationship were to serve as a picture for the people of Israel.  Here is the Billy Graham or the Rick Warren of the people of Israel…married to a cheating hooker.  And yet he lovingly and graciously and patiently remains faithful despite all her wickedness.  That’s how Israel was treating God.  And they felt it in a very real way as they watched their spiritual leader endure such pain.  That’s how we treat God.  Yet He loves us and remains faithful to this day.

Hosea and Gomer’s relationship serves as a model for us to follow.  DON’T BAIL.  Marriage isn’t like a cell phone or a car that you just replace when you’re bored or when it gets old.  Don’t cheat.  Don’t quit.  Never give up.  And don’t stop forgiving either.  Forgive. Endure. Embrace.  Take back.  Buy back.  Lay hold of the claim which you previously staked.  With God’s anointing, the two of you will get through anything.

Jay

In the past month, Michelle and I have added a new value to our roster of awesome characteristics to have in our marriage.

“HOSPITALITY.”

Here’s what it looks like for us right now: we’re constantly having people over for dinner.  Like twice a week, at least.  It has been amazing.  I think we’ve re-connected with over 20 people in the past month.

We’ve found that hospitality has many benefits, three of which I’ve listed below.

1. Hospitality allows you to practice generosity.

So few couples are living generous lives today.  Don’t be cheap.  Open up your home.

Proverbs 23 says, “Don’t eat with people who are stingy; don’t desire their delicacies. They are always thinking about how much it costs.  “Eat and drink,” they say, but they don’t mean it.  You will throw up what little you’ve eaten, and your compliments will be wasted.” To which I’d add- AND DON’T BE THIS PERSON!

We’ve had dinner at cheap people’s houses.  No good.  You can feel it hurts them to do it.  You can taste it.  Don’t be like that:  Shop for deals and spend the money to create a huge and delicious meal.  Get in the practice of giving.  Be generous with God’s blessings.

2. Hospitality makes loving others an intentional practice.

We are being INTENTIONAL about planning ahead and co-ordinating dinner invites with friends.  We have block out time in our schedule.  We have to hit the grocery store and the bakery.  We have to clean the house and set the table and make the meal.  It was hard at first. Some could find is stressful.  But don’t let it.  Plan far in advance.  Write it into your schedule.  Be intentional about loving others this way.  Pretty soon, it will be second nature!

3. Hospitality creates community.

This has been the biggest one for us.  There is something so intimate about dinner with another couple.  Eating, laughing, talking…going out for a walk or ice cream afterward.  Sometimes the conversations last for hours.  When our company leaves, we’re already excited to see them again soon.  We journal about how much we love our friends and how grateful we are to be surrounded by such wonderful, amazing people.  If everyone consistently does this, community creates itself!

Try it for a month- have 8 different groups of people over for dinner.  Then see how you feel.

Feels good, doesn’t it?!

Jay

I know, I know…I’ve heard the arguments.  Yes, yes, I get it…I’m a newlywed and couldn’t possibly have any idea what I’m talking about.  Agreed, agreed…I’m a rash and opinionated young man with no brain whatsoever.  Disagree with me, fine.  Blog about it.  I don’t care.  It’s just my opinion anyway, don’t get your stomach in a knot.  But I’m gonna say it anyway…

MARRIAGE is EASY!

I attended service at Forestview in Burlington this week.  Great church, for all your Burlington/Oakville people, check it out.  The speaker was Mike Stone, a dude so awesome that after I heard him speak at a wedding two weeks ago, I had to make the drive to check out his church.  We’re so glad we went.  The topic was divorce.

Mike preached a great message, from the heart, basically notes-free. (for all you preachers and speakers, you know what I’m talking about!) At one point in the message, he asked anyone to raise their hand if they thought marriage was easy.  No one in the room did.  I started to raise mine.  Michelle grabs my arm and yanked it down! (It’s obviously been much harder for her…understandably!)  Truth is, she was just embarrassed.

I’ll say it again- marriage is easy.

Think about it…you get to spend every single day with the person that you love more than anyone else in the entire world!  You get to entertain together.  Travel together.  Work together.  Raise a family together.  Do life together!  What’s so hard about that?!

We need to change our mindset: MARRIAGE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE HARD!

(now here’s the big catch that ya’ll have been waiting patiently for!)

But marriage WILL be hard if you choose to stay selfish, unforgiving, quick to anger, bitter, and self-serving.  In fact, it’ll be downright difficult.  Marriage will be a touch battle if you choose to make it about YOU and constantly blame your spouse for all your problems.  You’re in this together, remember?

So here’s my point: Marriage is easy.  Giving up your rights is hard.

With this in mind, consider my newly minted “Joyful Marriage Thesis”:

“If you consistently walk with God and practice selflessness, servanthood, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control…marriage will be easy.”

Life is hard. Marriage shouldn’t have to be.

Jay

This is a follow up to my last Just Married post.  We’re still talking about showing your spouse love in public, and why we need to let our faces share the joy that’s in our hearts.  I see too many miserable *looking* couples, yet know they’re in love.

There are at least three reasons why we, as married couples, need to do our best to have a godly marriage and humbly display it for others to see.

Marriage is something that should be aspired to.

In Titus 2, Paul instructs the older women to “train the younger women to love their husbands.” This is all about leading by example.  If young people are surrounded by unhappy-looking/unfulfilling/bad marriages, what desire would they have to be married?!

Think about it- if a young girl sees a number of godly men who are deeply committed to their wives, this is something that she will hopefully strive for and set as her dating standard.

If a young man witnesses a godly wife loving, respecting, and supporting her husband, this is the kind of women that we hope he will someday pursue.

It’s up to us to share the love we have and make marriage something worth striving towards.

Marriage is the number one relationship that’s exclusive.

“What God has brought together, let no one tear apart.”

I believe that marriage is one of the bedrocks of a successful society and civilization.  More importantly, I think godly marriages are anchor points for which a world can find rest.

I just think back to living at home- my parents were a source of encouragement and comfort to hundreds of teenagers wrestling with deep heart issues- their relationship with God, family problems, dating and friendship conflicts.

One thing I like about marriage is that it’s highly exclusive, and highly inclusive.  It’s something to be shared just you and your spouse.  But as that love that you share with each and God grows, it should overflow into the lives of the community around you.  I’m experiencing that in my marriage right now.  I’ve been the recipient of this overflow in the past.

Enduring commitment is something to be desired.  We must light that spark of desire in others.

Marriage is a picture of God’s love for His bride.

You’ve read Ephesians 5:25 a hundred times. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.”

I believe that THE BIGGEST reason why we need to be joyously displaying our marriage with the world is because it’s the NUMBER ONE picture of God’s love for people.

There are many pictures that Jesus gives to illustrate the Kingdom of God, but thing about this:

• Most people don’t have great fathers.
• Most people don’t have grapevines.
• Most people don’t have mustard trees.
• Very few own sheep.
• I don’t know many who bake their own bread.

The list goes on.  The point is- many of Jesus’s (yes, that’s correct English now!) imagery/metaphors/comparisons where culturally relevant for HIS time period.  Of the examples he uses, marriage is the one that’s still the strongest today.  We need to make sure that our marriages are painting a picture worthy of being called ‘Christlike.’

Next Tuesday we’ll about ways we can ensure that the world sees the love of Jesus through the ways we love our spouses.

Until then,

Jay

Seriously couples, if you’re married and you’re happy, let your face know it.

Especially if you invited Jesus into your marriage.  There shouldn’t be any long faces in a cord-of-three-strands relationship!

I had the opportunity to attend the wedding of two friends on Saturday, Reg and Carolyn.  I think my favourite part was when Reg did his speech to his new bride.  Bawling like a baby.  Everyone got to see his heart…his deep love, tender affection, and overwhelming gratefulness that God had brought them together.

While I’d rather not be crying my whole life, I want my love for my wife to reflect to others the way Reg’s was witnessed by us.

This is more than just smiles.  No, I’m not saying you need to engage in massive amounts of PDA- you don’t have to be attached at the hip and you don’t need to always be cuddling and kissing in public.  That gets awkward.

It’s about letting everyone on the outside know about the inside.

I love to show off my wife.  I love to spoil her and show her affection and give her encouragement.  And when I do it in public, I validate her in front of my friends.  I increase her value by holding her up as valuable.

I see alot of couples who barely look civil, let alone in love.  I see alot of couples who look very bored.  I see alot of couples who look stressed and tired and worn down.  Yet I know they’re in love with God and each other.  Their faces just send a conflicting message.  We need to let our bodies in on the joy that’s in our hearts.

As couples, we NEED to let our love show.

Because the world is watching how lovers of Jesus love their spouses. It might be the only way they see Jesus.

More on that this Thursday.

Jay