My husband, C.J.,  is working on his master’s degree in Human Fitness and Performance which is a fancy term for physical fitness.  All that he has left to complete is his project for which he is writing a strength and conditioning manual for firefighters.  He works very hard on his project all the while holding down two jobs and being a wonderful husband and daddy.  He is superman in my eyes.

Three weeks ago for the first time ever in my life I mowed the yard, did all the edging and weed eating, and even trimmed the bushes.  I found I really enjoyed doing the yard work, and I have done it once a week since.

The first week our neighbor saw me doing the yard and told me, “C.J. doesn’t know how good he has got it.”   The second week he complimented my husband for a job well done.  C.J. told our neighbor it had not been him that did the yard, but rather me.  Our neighbor told my husband, “I know you are working on your firefighter manual, but you would make a lot more money if you wrote a manual on how to train your wife.” 

C.J. and I both kind of giggled at his comment, but his wife who was standing right there did not look amused.  If I were in her shoes I don’t think I would have been amused either.

This week as I did the yard I was thinking about our neighbor’s comment.  While I must admit it I did think of his comment as a compliment, I didn’t see what the big deal was about me doing the yard.  When I consider all that C.J. does for our family, taking one extra thing off of him doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.  Besides I was only taking care of our ”field” much like the woman in Proverbs 31.   When I thought about the woman of Proverbs 31 I realized that the manual on how to train your wife has already been written.  It is called the Bible.

The Bible is the manual for all areas of life and the most important book to reference in marriage.  It gives instruction to both man and wife  on how to fulfill their role and love their spouse. 

Are you referencing your manual?  Have you looked to God for ways to show your spouse love?  What have you come up with?  Do you live your life serving your spouse rather than seeking how they can serve you?

Sarah Brown

One of the gifts my husband John and I were given for our wedding was a small book about marriage. At first it ended up being more of a “coffee table book”, sitting on the table in our living room without really be opened or read. One day I finally pick it up and read it through from beginning to end. This book is called “I Promise You Forever” written by Dr. Gary Smalley. He goes through 30 promises to make in your marriage that fall under 5 commitments.
 
The first commitment: I promise to conform my beliefs to God’s truth
 
Honor- A simple word, seems like an easy thing to do. But if we are constantly looking at our spouse’s shortcomings, are we truly honoring them? We need to remember we are all made in God’s image. God sees both you and your spouse as precious and valuable because He sees the worth he has built within each of us. Honor is not earned – it is a gift.
 
Do you remember how you felt when you first met your spouse? Do you still feel the same now that you are married? How did Adam feel when God brought him his new companion Eve? Remember that you have received a treasure of unfathomable worth and always promise to remember your first love!
 
Promise your spouse that you remember that they are God’s gift to you. Look at the good and honorable in your spouse and find the glory God has instilled in each of you.
 
Choose to honor your spouse outside of your emotional climate. If you do not see your spouse as a priceless treasure, you will tend to focus on negative actions. As the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:8, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things”. Think of the good qualities in your spouse and honor will flow.
 
Finally, promise to install an emotional security system for your marriage. Create an emotional security in your marriage where you can grow together. Make it a place where you can truly open up to one another at an intimate level without fear of being blamed, criticized, judged or condemned. Make your marriage feel like the safest place on earth.
 
What can you do today to show honor to your spouse?

~ Carolyn

What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. - James 4:14

We are given but a short time on this earth with which we are to live with purpose knowing what matters most.  We cannot take anything from this life with us to the next, not the possessions we accumulate, not those we love, not even the clothes on our back.  We leave everything behind including the words we spoke and the memories we shared with others.

This week my Uncle Bobby, 58 years of age, passed away.  He contracted swine flu, and it ravaged his body, shutting down his kidneys and filling his lungs with fluid.  His body could no longer oxygenate itself, and it tooks his life.  He left behind a wife, two daughters, and four grandsons.

I was in the room as the doctors and nurses performed CPR trying to revive him.  I witnessed about 15 people working frantically to save his life for about 30 minutes to no avail.  He remained on life support long enough for his wife, daughters and grandchildren to say their goodbyes.  I witnesses this life end and his eternity begin.  Everything from this life was left behind.

Two lessons I have learned from this experience are that you are not promised tomorrow and because of this make sure your time with those you love is lived in love to its fullest.

When I got home from the hospital that night I kissed my husband and went in and kissed my children as they slept.  I thanked God for the blessings they are to me and for the time I have been given with them.  I prayed for wisdom and grace to love them and to make the greatest impact I can in their lives so that they might be certain of the love of Christ through their memories of me.

Despite being to imperfect beings, my husband and I love each other very much, and make it a point to show the other each and every day.  I want to make sure that if something unexpected happened, and I was unable to take my next breathe, he would know beyond a shadow of a doubt what he meant to me.  I want him to know how much God has used him in my life.  I want the things I leave behind in this life such as the words I spoke and the memories I made with him to continue to bless his life.

I ask you to think about the words and memories you are leaving behind.  Are they words to build your spouse up? Are they memories that make them laugh out loud?  Do they speak the love of Christ?

Sarah Brown

My name is Kayla and I work for Compassion Canada. My husband’s name is Mike and he is a Music Producer/Engineer; Together we are Mr. and Mrs. Tompkins!

Mike and I travel quite often for our jobs, which separates us for short periods of time. Some jaded older couples tell us that it is a “Blessing in disguise” to have jobs that let you travel separately. Mike and I have been married for almost 2 years and couldn’t disagree more!

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We often hear this phrase when we tell people about our travels.  People go on to explain how once you have children you have to settle down, and how they stopped doing things when they had kids. This way of thinking always rubbed us the wrong way.  And yesterday we had the privilege of meeting a couple from the States that has been an inspiration to us.

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