Looking back over this past year of marriage, my husband and I have had our share of struggles and challenges. It hasn’t been an easy year for us. Things did not work out according to the plan we had made for us.
It took me a few months of going through my own struggles that I realized that I need to simply give all my struggles, doubts, and disappointments to God. My own strength did not help me through the challenges I was facing. One night while doing my devotions I came across this verse: You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in the Lord. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal (Isaiah 26:3 &4). I wanted that peace, I was searching everywhere for it.
My husband recently lost his job - another struggle we are facing together. Although we both acknowledged when this first happened that we need to trust that God is leading us somewhere, it was hard at times (and sometimes still is) for us to believe in what we were saying.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 spoke to John and I – We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not it despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
Marriage is not always sunny skies and perfect weather. God tests our faith and challenges us to a higher place. He is with us and for us, not against us. God does not promise us perfect weather in marriage, but He does promise to walk beside us even in difficult times.
God is faithful, through all of life journeys. God is for us.
Are you filled today with God’s peace through life storms?
How many times have we heard couples say, “She wears the pants in the relationship” or “he’s the boss, ask him?”. I think we have all heard this many times or maybe even fall guilty of admitting to saying these as well within our own marriages. But do we ever stop to consider and say, “Christ is our boss in our marriage?”.
The second promise in Dr. Gary Smalley’s book “I Promise You Forever” is based on striving to conform to God’s image in your marriage and to follow all His commands, especially to love and care for your spouse all the days of your life - I promise to be filled by God.
In our wedding vows, we promise to be faithful to our spouse. But by being faithful to our spouse, we need to first be faithful to God. We need to commit to His will, His rules, and His design for relationship behavior. By promising to submit to God’s authority, we assure our spouse that we will not be swayed by our own thoughts or wants. Putting God at the center of your marriage, making Him the foundation, provides your marriage with the most solid security possible.
We often hear the line “You complete me” or “you are the only one who can fill my needs”. We look for that one person who we can spend the rest of our life with to fill our needs and wants. We look to our spouse as our ‘power charge’ to keep us feeling satisfied and complete. Although our spouses can provide us with tremendous amount of support and encouragement, we need to seek God for our strength and happiness. Promise your spouse to be filled with God and to develop a personal connection with Him through having a faith strong in Christ. God made you for a relationship with Himself.
Make it your goal this week or even this month to be filled by God. Consciously work with your spouse to achieve oneness with God and each other. Be filled by God through prayer, attending church together, eating meals together, reading the Bible together. What else can you do to be filled by God in your marriage?
My husband, C.J., is working on his master’s degree in Human Fitness and Performance which is a fancy term for physical fitness. All that he has left to complete is his project for which he is writing a strength and conditioning manual for firefighters. He works very hard on his project all the while holding down two jobs and being a wonderful husband and daddy. He is superman in my eyes.
Three weeks ago for the first time ever in my life I mowed the yard, did all the edging and weed eating, and even trimmed the bushes. I found I really enjoyed doing the yard work, and I have done it once a week since.
The first week our neighbor saw me doing the yard and told me, “C.J. doesn’t know how good he has got it.” The second week he complimented my husband for a job well done. C.J. told our neighbor it had not been him that did the yard, but rather me. Our neighbor told my husband, “I know you are working on your firefighter manual, but you would make a lot more money if you wrote a manual on how to train your wife.”
C.J. and I both kind of giggled at his comment, but his wife who was standing right there did not look amused. If I were in her shoes I don’t think I would have been amused either.
This week as I did the yard I was thinking about our neighbor’s comment. While I must admit it I did think of his comment as a compliment, I didn’t see what the big deal was about me doing the yard. When I consider all that C.J. does for our family, taking one extra thing off of him doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. Besides I was only taking care of our ”field” much like the woman in Proverbs 31. When I thought about the woman of Proverbs 31 I realized that the manual on how to train your wife has already been written. It is called the Bible.
The Bible is the manual for all areas of life and the most important book to reference in marriage. It gives instruction to both man and wife on how to fulfill their role and love their spouse.
Are you referencing your manual? Have you looked to God for ways to show your spouse love? What have you come up with? Do you live your life serving your spouse rather than seeking how they can serve you?
I once was talking with someone and they were appalled when I used the word ’serving’ when referring to marriage. I think that servanthood has such a bad connotation to some people, though for me over the years it has developed into a beautifl word, one that I hope to incorporate into my character more and more. Not just in regard to my husband, but to humanity as a whole.
That has got to be the WORST command that God ever gave to a man.
The man was Hosea, a prophet of the Lord. God tells him to marry a lady of the night, a promiscuous woman named Gomer. And God even tells Hosea- “dude- she ain’t gonna stop cheating neither. But stay with her.”
So, Hosea obeys, and marries Gomer. She very quickly goes back to her old lifestyle. Hosea brings her back again and again. Eventually, he outright BUYS her back.
WHY THE HECK WOULD ANY MAN GO THROUGH SUCH A HEARTBREAKING ORDEAL?!!!
Two reasons:
Hosea and Gomer’s relationship were to serve as a picture for the people of Israel. Here is the Billy Graham or the Rick Warren of the people of Israel…married to a cheating hooker. And yet he lovingly and graciously and patiently remains faithful despite all her wickedness. That’s how Israel was treating God. And they felt it in a very real way as they watched their spiritual leader endure such pain. That’s how we treat God. Yet He loves us and remains faithful to this day.
Hosea and Gomer’s relationship serves as a model for us to follow. DON’T BAIL. Marriage isn’t like a cell phone or a car that you just replace when you’re bored or when it gets old. Don’t cheat. Don’t quit. Never give up. And don’t stop forgiving either. Forgive. Endure. Embrace. Take back. Buy back. Lay hold of the claim which you previously staked. With God’s anointing, the two of you will get through anything.
Hi Lovebirds! How was your weekend?! Did you take time to bookend your days? Have you been having your daily dose?!
(thanks to Tony Morgan for this video)
Do you remember your wedding vows?
“What?! Word for word? You must be crazy!”
Nope.
Not with half of marriages ending in divorce. Not with the majority of the rest ending even worse- stuck in monogamous, married misery. If we stayed true to the vows we made, we wouldn’t be experiencing the problems we’re having right now.
Couples- think of people you know that are on the brink or are already divorced. What promises did they make at the altar? What covenant did they commit themselves to? What vows did they solemnly take before God and these witnesses?
Now which ones did they fall through on? Which vows did they never come close to achieving? Did they ACTUALLY take their covenant seriously? Do you? Are you fulfilling the promises you made to the one you love? Or have you forgotten already? (I confess, I’m here)
Maybe the reason people get divorced isn’t because it “just wasn’t working out”…
Maybe its because we let the other person down.
Maybe it’s that we aren’t good at keeping promises.
Maybe it’s because we have forgotten the promises we made.
Looking back over this past year of marriage, my husband and I have had our share of struggles and challenges. It hasn’t been an easy year for us. Things did not work out according to the plan we had made for us. 
How many times have we heard couples say, “She wears the pants in the relationship” or “he’s the boss, ask him?”. I think we have all heard this many times or maybe even fall guilty of admitting to saying these as well within our own marriages. But do we ever stop to consider and say, “Christ is our boss in our marriage?”. 
April 24th, 2010 at 7:15 am
I once was talking with someone and they were appalled when I used the word ’serving’ when referring to marriage. I think that servanthood has such a bad connotation to some people, though for me over the years it has developed into a beautifl word, one that I hope to incorporate into my character more and more. Not just in regard to my husband, but to humanity as a whole.