“Stay with the prostitute.”

That has got to be the WORST command that God ever gave to a man.

The man was Hosea, a prophet of the Lord.  God tells him to marry a lady of the night, a promiscuous woman named Gomer.  And God even tells Hosea- “dude- she ain’t gonna stop cheating neither.  But stay with her.”

So, Hosea obeys, and marries Gomer.  She very quickly goes back to her old lifestyle.  Hosea brings her back again and again.  Eventually, he outright BUYS her back.

WHY THE HECK WOULD ANY MAN GO THROUGH SUCH A HEARTBREAKING ORDEAL?!!!

Two reasons:

Hosea and Gomer’s relationship were to serve as a picture for the people of Israel.  Here is the Billy Graham or the Rick Warren of the people of Israel…married to a cheating hooker.  And yet he lovingly and graciously and patiently remains faithful despite all her wickedness.  That’s how Israel was treating God.  And they felt it in a very real way as they watched their spiritual leader endure such pain.  That’s how we treat God.  Yet He loves us and remains faithful to this day.

Hosea and Gomer’s relationship serves as a model for us to follow.  DON’T BAIL.  Marriage isn’t like a cell phone or a car that you just replace when you’re bored or when it gets old.  Don’t cheat.  Don’t quit.  Never give up.  And don’t stop forgiving either.  Forgive. Endure. Embrace.  Take back.  Buy back.  Lay hold of the claim which you previously staked.  With God’s anointing, the two of you will get through anything.

Jay

This is a follow up to my last Just Married post.  We’re still talking about showing your spouse love in public, and why we need to let our faces share the joy that’s in our hearts.  I see too many miserable *looking* couples, yet know they’re in love.

There are at least three reasons why we, as married couples, need to do our best to have a godly marriage and humbly display it for others to see.

Marriage is something that should be aspired to.

In Titus 2, Paul instructs the older women to “train the younger women to love their husbands.” This is all about leading by example.  If young people are surrounded by unhappy-looking/unfulfilling/bad marriages, what desire would they have to be married?!

Think about it- if a young girl sees a number of godly men who are deeply committed to their wives, this is something that she will hopefully strive for and set as her dating standard.

If a young man witnesses a godly wife loving, respecting, and supporting her husband, this is the kind of women that we hope he will someday pursue.

It’s up to us to share the love we have and make marriage something worth striving towards.

Marriage is the number one relationship that’s exclusive.

“What God has brought together, let no one tear apart.”

I believe that marriage is one of the bedrocks of a successful society and civilization.  More importantly, I think godly marriages are anchor points for which a world can find rest.

I just think back to living at home- my parents were a source of encouragement and comfort to hundreds of teenagers wrestling with deep heart issues- their relationship with God, family problems, dating and friendship conflicts.

One thing I like about marriage is that it’s highly exclusive, and highly inclusive.  It’s something to be shared just you and your spouse.  But as that love that you share with each and God grows, it should overflow into the lives of the community around you.  I’m experiencing that in my marriage right now.  I’ve been the recipient of this overflow in the past.

Enduring commitment is something to be desired.  We must light that spark of desire in others.

Marriage is a picture of God’s love for His bride.

You’ve read Ephesians 5:25 a hundred times. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.”

I believe that THE BIGGEST reason why we need to be joyously displaying our marriage with the world is because it’s the NUMBER ONE picture of God’s love for people.

There are many pictures that Jesus gives to illustrate the Kingdom of God, but thing about this:

• Most people don’t have great fathers.
• Most people don’t have grapevines.
• Most people don’t have mustard trees.
• Very few own sheep.
• I don’t know many who bake their own bread.

The list goes on.  The point is- many of Jesus’s (yes, that’s correct English now!) imagery/metaphors/comparisons where culturally relevant for HIS time period.  Of the examples he uses, marriage is the one that’s still the strongest today.  We need to make sure that our marriages are painting a picture worthy of being called ‘Christlike.’

Next Tuesday we’ll about ways we can ensure that the world sees the love of Jesus through the ways we love our spouses.

Until then,

Jay

Trust might be the scariest risk ever.  Especially if it involves small groups of teenagers…

There are three easy questions to ask if you want to find out if trust is being built in your marriage:

1. Am I completely comfortable being naked in front of them, no matter how early in the morning?
2. Can I speak for my spouse? (ie. “He thinks I am gorgeous and sexy and beautiful.” “She thinks I’m a great husband, a good provider, and a hunky chunk of burning love.”)
3. Can I sing comfortably in front of them?

What other ‘trust signs’ are present in your marriage?  What is breaking down trust?  What can help build it back up?

It’s okay to be different.
It’s okay to not have the same favourite restaurant.
It’s okay to like a different colour.
It’s okay to have hobbies.
It’s okay to hang out with the guy.  Or the girls.
It’s okay to not match your outfits.
It’s okay to stand up to your spouse.
It’s okay to be proud of your spouse.
It’s okay to not approve of some of their friends.
It’s okay to be opposed to some of their bad habits.
It’s okay to disagree with your in-laws.
It’s okay to like a different type of pet.
It’s okay brag about your awesome spouse.
It’s okay to want to spend every waking moment with your spouse.
It’s okay to take a break from your spouse.
It’s okay to challenge your spouse on character growth.
It’s okay to pray for God’s wisdom in your marriage.
It’s even okay to disagree about things.

Just because you are ONE doesn’t mean you no longer have a mind, body, or Spirit.  You’re soul mates, not Siamese attached-at-the-hip robot clones.

Now breathe.  You’re gonna be okay.

I’ve been thinking up some of the ways I could ruin my marriage.  Here’s the list:
-burn all her clothes
-put down her parents
-start treating her poorly
-throw out her books and pictures
-verbally tear apart her friends
-ignore her when my friends are around
-leave without telling her where I’m going
-stay out until all hours of the night

But there’s one way that would destroy it completely: make my marriage all about me.

Selfishness is the poison in love’s pond.
Self-centredness is the arsenic in the water.

Selflessness is the antidote.