Yesterday I decided to be a godly, loving, serving, wonderful, caring, gracious, Christlike, (humble?!) husband.

I did the dishes for my wife.

Am I a good guy or what?!

I’m a tool sometimes.

About halfway through the pasta dishes I suddenly realized- “I’m not doing the dishes for her.  I’m doing them for us.”

Dishes aren’t ‘her’ chore- they’re our responsibility.  Same with pretty much everything else around the house.  I can’t give birth- other than that, it’s all US.

PLEASE…serve your spouse.  But don’t act like you’re doing them a favor and expect something in return.

Last Friday night was great.  I went out with this blonde bombshell named Michelle.  We went to have dinner in Ancaster at this Italian place called Sfoozi’s, but it went bankrupt.  Not because of us!  It’s a shame, because we had a coupon.

So we grabbed Timmies and Starbucks and went to see The International at the new theatre in Stoney Creek.

Afterwards, we talked (and maybe argued a little!) politics all the way to dinner at The Keg (I love Air Miles!).  We wined (and beered?) and dined for a very long time, left so full we almost exploded.  Came home and absolutely crashed.

I love dating my wife.

Ladies and gentlemen- it took dating to woo a mate…why would you stop now that they are your spouse?!  It’s the ONE THING that you know works for sure!  Keep it up!

Here are just three reasons why dating works:

1. Time alone…focus, attention, exclusivity- believe it or not, your spouse doesn’t like sharing you sometimes.  With anyone…even their best friend, or family members.  Or with anything- especially your cell phone.

2. Communication…since you’re alone, you might as well talk.  Be intentional about discovering something new, offering encouragement, and showing support.  And bring God into the conversation.

3. It’s special. It’s different.  It’s unique.  It’s a break-out from the grind.  It’s a ‘Sabbath moment.’  It’s a rest from everything else.  So be creative.

Guys- you need to be more intentional about dating your wives.  Shave and dress up too.  Start planning surprises.  (especially if she’s a control freak).
Women- stop pointing the finger.  When was the last time you took your husband on a date, did things that he would like to do (did someone say food, sports, and sex?), and then PAID FOR THE WHOLE THING?!

So here is my challenge for you as a couple:  Go on a weekly date.

“But that’s expensive!”

SO IS DIVORCE.

And it doesn’t have to be expensive— if you use that God-given grey matter.  Get creative.
Have a great weekend lovebirds-  I can’t wait to hear the stories on Monday.  Now I gotta go plan a date…

Jay

Someone once said that “the sexual revolution was the best trick that man ever pulled on women.”

Women wanted to walk like men, talk like men, dress like men, smoke like men, drink like men, and work like men.

For the most part, it just made men respect them less- because now they had sunk to our level.  But more importantly, now they all started going to work…and expected their men to start helping around the house.

Men, of course, never signed up for that, and so, they never did anything around the house.  This led to the creation of a generation of workaholic, stressed out, wives and moms who simply can’t handle life.

It’s not their fault.  But it’s not man’s fault either.  It’s our fault.

For so long, men and women have tried so very hard to live without each other, simply because ‘the other way’ didn’t work.  Like Marcus Buckingham says, “The opposite isn’t bad isn’t good.  The opposite of bad is…not bad.”

Our greatest equality did not occur when we were completely dependent on each other.
Our greatest equality will not occur when we achieve complete independence of each other.
Our greatest equality will occur when we all adopt a spirit of partnership.

Partner with your spouse and do something great.  Raise a family.  Start a business.  Launch a ministry.  Plant a church.  Build a great marriage.

I tore this straight off Mark Batterson’s blog:

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven will pause to say, ‘There lived a great street sweeper who did his job well’.” -Martin Luther King Jr.-

Reminds me of Ecclesiastes 9:10…whatever you find to do, do it with all your might.

I re-wrote MLK’s quote for my marriage:

If a man is called to be a husband, he should love even as Jesus loved the church, serve as Mother Theresa did the poor, and cherish as the shepherd does his sheep.

I’m going to try to live like that this weekend with my wife.

Hi Lovebirds!

I have been married for just under seven months, and I can already say that being married is hard work. But it IS manageable!

Here’s a simple trick for making your marriage awesome: think about pushups. Not ones of a supporting nature, but those associated with working out!

Here’s what I mean… I read a blog post from Steven Furtick this week (I will do a Crush of the Week column on him soon), and this is what he said:

I got an interesting piece of exercise advice one time-never forgot it.
This guy (who was in great shape) said the only exercise commitment he ever made was to do one push-up per day-every single day.    Not to run 5 miles a day, complete four 90 minute workouts per week…
Just one push-up per day.

When I asked him (skeptically) what the value of one push-up was, he explained:
“Well, one push-up isn’t going to do much for you, that’s for sure. But once you get down to do one, you usually end up doing 30, 40, or 50.
And then you figure, hey, while I’m down here, may as well do some sit-ups too.
Before you know it, you’ve had a pretty good workout. And it all started with one push-up.”

I wonder how you could apply this strategy to some of the things you hate to do, but know you need to do? Just get started, and often the rest will happen from there. Getting started is the hardest part.

IT APPLIES TO MARRIAGE!

So here’s your “marriage push up.” Michelle and I call it “The Daily Dose.”

Take three minutes. Just 180 seconds. Crawl into bed, fully clothed, and start cuddling. Look each other in the eyes. Say ‘I love you’. Maybe kiss. Maybe nap. Maybe talk.  Next thing you know, you are having a deep, heart-to-heart conversation. You’re catching up on each other’s week. You’re laughing and telling stories, and praying for people you love. You’re making a mental checklist of things to do, and starting plan your next great adventure together. Maybe you’ll get a great idea for your next surprise date or random love-gift. You build a connection. Your relationship goes deeper. You build intimacy. You won’t want to stop. You fall more in love.

Suddenly, three minutes can turn into 2 hours. And if you’re lucky…

Jay